Saturday Golf Blues

On a nice Saturday morning that it was, as I walked up the steps and in the general direction of the tenth tee box for my nine hole round, taking in large greedy gulps of fresh air, I saw ahead of me in the clearing mist, the gymnasium helper carrying his two large blue balls one in each hand over either shoulder and wondered what it foretold. Our usual pre-game rituals of coffee, minimal stretching and friendly morning jibes led me to a pleasant bogey on the tenth before my game started going downhill. Four strokes into the five par eleventh, yet barely seeing the flag a good three hundred yards away, I began to get an inkling that all was not going to be well. Since were playing for high stakes in a "Nagpur men vs rest of the world (us)" format the pressures were high. My partner quickly switched off his phone and probably decided that he better take his round more seriously if we had to win. The previous evening he had chosen (unwisely) the phone over the game and had been left bereft of balls at the end of the round. My twelfth started with a donation of my much loved Noodle (which had lasted me all of fourteen holes last evening in a scintillating round of golf but that would be another story) to the no man's land between the course and the old airport, ending 5 strokes later after some fight with the grass that had grown thick through the night. And i reflected on the meaning of those large blue balls walking in front of me before i started. Was it telling me that today i should play another game with bigger balls. The thirteenth went in a flash as I ran out of the 'I was just warming up' excuse and realized at that time that we were two holes shared and all four of us were in a trance like state induced by the fun time we were having. At the fourteenth we started ominously with three of us donating a ball each to the water God that stands in front of the tee box. In order to set right the imbalance we urged our fourth member to also throw in a ball, even if just for good luck, but he quite snootily declined. Boy i guess we had angered the waters then and they came back with a vengeance. When we finished we had equaled the record for gross cumulative 4 ball score of 40 strokes on a single hole. As we sipped our coffee I was reminded of a Tolkienish image that i had once constructed of the game imagining these golf balls to be devilish little characters called golves. Golves are creatures that are round in shape less then 2 inches in height, and their well rounded bodies are completely covered with hundreds of dimples that enable them to travel great distances at rapid speed when energized. They have strong minds of their own and can redirect their given energy to fly in directions of their choosing. They are found in large meadows, can easily hide under fallen leaves, impersonate flowers and often lie dormant beneath (even shallow) water bodies waiting to be discovered. They are powerful and can make grown humans cry. Needless to say it was tight finish to the nine hole round, by which time our opponents attempts to raise the stakes had risen significantly. Pick up for the next round, free valet parking at the club, a case of beer, club membership fees amongst other things were brought in as potential new stakes for the last one. As we completed our sumptuous breakfast, ordered by the winners and paid for by the losers (of course) we were cheered by the fact that golfers are amongst the most energy conscious people doing nearly forty one miles per gallon (of liquor) consumed. On that happy note we left for home, knowing very well that we would have a great game the next time we play.