Patently Yours

My yoga teacher came to me after class this morning and said that he would have to increase the monthly rates for his classes. Guessing that he too was being hit by the economic recession I proceeded to ask him "Ok ok, How much?" "Well I have been doing these sessions for you at Rs 100/- per week all this time but from the next month onwards I will have to increase that to Rs 950/- per week." "Did you just say Rs 950/-" I exclaimed in shock. "Yes you heard right" he said unwaveringly. "But why such a steep increase, I can understand that times are tough and all that but a nine times increase is just too much" I cried. "Well let me explain" he said apologetically, as I quickly sat back in vajrasan to de-stress from what I had just heard.  "Eleven of the asanas that I teach you have been patented by some Americans and I have to pay them a royalty of Rs 50/- per asana person week. Then I have to pay them Rs 100 per month to access a YERP (Yoga ERP) that they are renting me, which allows me to keep track of what I earn and what I pay out. Then I have to plan for about Rs 25 that goes to the payment gateway through whom I will make these payments. Now because I am doing all this, the local school that I learnt from is asking me to pay them a royalty of Rs 100 per student per month. The balance includes a nominal increase on account of tough economic times which is what I will actually earn" "You must be nuts" I said, "you will lose all your existing clients I can tell you that, we are very conservative here in South Bangalore". "Sir, what can I do, while I realize that I will lose some of you and much as I would hate that I am told that once I am in the premium bracket at Rs 950/- per week I will get a lot of new expat and NRI clients who believe in the American way of life." I let him out of my house telling him that I would consider his request over the next few days but secretly planning to now work on a pirated yoga asana model of exercise. That evening, still red in the ears, I went to the department store for my monthly quota of rice. Walking down the aisle to where I normally pick up my regular quota of rice I found that the price had moved from Rs 60/- a kg to Rs 200/- a kg of Basmati (and a label saying it is now to be pronounced as Baas-maa-ti). Yes American patents had struck again. So I quickly picked up a nearby bag of rice now labeled Long Grain advertised as "India's answer to Basmati" priced at Rs 55/- per kilo and left. Walking back home, long grain in my hand, doubts in my brain, I worried. What if I went to the temple and found that the priest now gave me a price list for reciting the slokas because they had got patented by the west and he too had royalty to pay? Thankfully there was no such thing. There was a small matter though; after I did my Thopukaranams in front of Lord Ganesha, the priest took me aside and asked me to sign in a register. Apparently some American had now patented it calling it Super Brain Yoga and had sent notices to all temples that they would have to pay a temple-wide license fee starting next month.