New Year Resolutions for 2016

And so here are some likely resolutions from the newsworthy and the powers that be; Salman – to invest/mentor in driverless car technology startups Amir – to increase time spent on lonely planet and other country websites DLF (and all other real estate moguls) – to lobby Rajya Sabha MPs to delay the Real Estate Bill indefinitely The average politician in the ruling party – to invest in ‘invisibility cloak’ technology based startups in the hope of ‘not being seen’ by the overactive PMO The average Lok Sabha politician in opposition – will make a solemn promise to attend to at least 25% of the sessions and disrupt all parliament sessions during these times The Rajya Sabha MPs in opposition – will make a solemn promise to disrupt 100% of Parliament sessions for the year The Karnataka government and its legislators – to announce one more ring road of 500 km circumference (the last one announced was only some 120 km) to be dotted with industrial parks/zones, prior to which quickly buy most of the land in and adjacent to these areas; also get The Bangalore Club Membership done and dusted The BBMP – firmly resolve to find brand new reasons as to why at the end of 2016 nothing would have got done on problems like garbage, bad roads and footpaths, illegal constructions and shops in residential areas and poor tax collections Arnav (& his ilk) – to move legislation so that news channels can also prosecute and convict people it deems offenders on issues it debates daily on its various talk shows – these would be called Madhyamayuktas and each channel would have its news anchor playing that role with honesty and without bias The average urban citizen – to live in the status quo; in tolerance of the continuing corruption, inefficiency, pollution, dying water bodies and garbage around him; after all this continued tolerance has enabled him to live the good, mostly selfish life, while throwing his garbage on the streets, breaking traffic rules, ignoring norms of civil society and expecting everything to change As for me – I resolve to pray