Its all about Traffic and Citizen Discipline

In a recent bare-all interview with me, the Chief of Traffic Police (CofTP) shared his concern on the growing population in the city. “There are just too many people in the city these days” was his refrain. I asked him the following questions and his forthright replies are there for you to read;

ME: Sir, Thank you for making it to the interview on time!

CofTP: Oh, your welcome, it was quite a smart move on your part to schedule this interview for 6 am on a Sunday morning when the traffic is at its least. I got to your office in 9 minutes.

ME: Thank you Sir. What is your advise to citizens in this city, both who are pedestrians and those who are motorists?

CofTP: Well to the Motorists I would say, “Follow traffic rules, do not influence my sales, sorry police force at any time or opportunity. Do not honk unnecessarily even if you find the road in front you of you blocked by a group of bullocks from the village that the authorities forgot to remove when they created the township fifteen years ago.” To the Citizens I would urge you, reduce your numbers, there are just too many of you on the streets, can you think of doing something else instead, like visiting those malls that our municipality has permitted to come up at all nooks and corners, or just read a book at home…..”

ME: Sir, sorry to interrupt you but could you tell us what initiatives the department has put into place to make it easy for the citizens of this growing metropolis.

CofTP: Yes of course. The first thing is we have made it easy to pay fines. You can now do that online in addition to offline at various street corners where my force is on standby to collect fines as you create an offence. We have also now made it easy to commit offences by a new technique of randomly operating signals at key intersections. While we have been given feedback that this is something that confuses motorists no end, this is actually a way for us to test the honesty of our citizen motorists. So what if there is no signal functioning. Motorists can make eye contact with each other, as most of our roads are small and narrow, and then proceed with matters.

ME: Sir, what about ease for pedestrians?

CofTP: Of course, they are first and foremost on our minds. I can’t say the same of the municipal administration as I must admit I find it hard to find a walkable footpath myself these days. However at traffic signals we have scenarios where all directions turn RED allowing citizens to cross.

ME: Sir, however we do find that some of these ‘all RED’ intersections do not have a ‘Pedestrian Green’ light facility.

CofTP: Well, they should know after all this is an educated city. Motorists should know that its for people to cross, and people should cross and once this virtuous cycle is established everything will be fine.

ME: Sir, What about the many intersections that have sprung up on almost all roads. They seem to be there to cater to either VIPs or builders who have vested interests in those side streets. Would that be a fair statement to make?

CofTP: Look our job is to best manage given all the constraints. We are but a cog in the administrative wheel of governance. Yes these are a nuisance to the average motorist and pedestrian but then averages don’t matter do they.

And to add to what I was saying earlier, pedestrians are most important to us. We would request them through this interview to not randomly cross roads but walk to the next available zebra crossing and do so.

ME: Sir, that could sometimes mean that they walk about 1 km or more to get to that crossing?

CofTP: Yes of course but then that would also keep them fit and healthy which is an important future requirement.

ME: Sir, you mean that healthy citizens make good citizens?

CofTP: No, what I mean is that soon the traffic grid locks will be so severe that the only way people will be able to reach there destination will be by brisk walking and this would be good practice now.