3 Idiots win Awards

It is that time of the year when the country reads of the annual awards given by the government on the eve of Republic Day. While it certainly gladdens the heart to see quite a few deserving countrymen and women get awarded each year I am also left with wonder at some of the choices, quite certainly the outcome of much hectic lobbying in the corridors of power. So I thought, why not institute another set of awards, something that may find equal mass appeal as also leave out the standard criticisms of favoritism and influence. The awards will simply be known as The First Idiot Award, The Second Idiot Award and The Third Idiot Award; I decided to restrict it to 3 awards all named in honour of India’s now highest grossing, recent Bollywood box office hit. Next year, I promise to approach any willing news channel to sponsor this, which could run those chat shows with all those nice looking panelists who can come and air their expert opinions maybe even get interviewed myself as to how I thought of this amazing new set of awards, and give this nationwide coverage. Maybe even make this a reality show. But this year it's all my own work to borrow a phrase from a guru. For the First Idiot Award it was a slam dunk. The winner is none other than the recently deposed guv of Andhra Pradesh. The man who made headlines when he was recently caught on camera cavorting in his bedroom with three ladies all at once. Now if you think I’m awarding him this first award because of what he was caught doing, then think again. This award is clearly his for being a real idiot to deny his obvious prowess and stake his claim for stardom with his actions, given that at his ripe old age (eighty plus) most men would be satisfied if they could remember to unzip their trousers when going to the bathroom. Congratulations Sir, on being the first winner of the First Idiot Award of this great nation. For the Second Idiot Award I didn’t have to cast my eye too far either. Another semi-retired wily politician had caught my attention. This gentleman whose past claim to fame was his brief stint at the helm of affairs of our country, when by a stroke of genius he maneuvered himself to the top-spot for a brief while, only to sleep thorough the proceedings for most of his tenure. Never one to stay out of the limelight for too long, he pitched his tent literally, on the center of the yet to be made (or should we say forever being made) expressway and proceeded to shower choice words of abuse on our current state chief. And why does he win this award? Not for calling the honorable state chief a Big B and much more on regional television but rather because he backed down meekly amidst the media and public hue and cry muttering apologies. Surely he should have known that sticking to his stand would have kept him on national television a lot longer? Congratulations Sir, on being the first winner of the Second Idiot Award of this great nation. For the Third Award I decided that we have had enough of the political kind. After all if we went that way there are so many exceptional candidates that I may have had to add several more awards and I wanted to restrict it to just three. The third award too was a no brainer selection. We the People, clearly the most gullible and foolish creatures, surprisingly, from a land that gave the world some of its greatest moments in the past. We of the current generations who believe in everything that we are told and see, rarely stopping to think for ourselves. Whether it is our political situation wherein our democracy is being mostly misused for the last sixty years by a new breed of self serving leadership hand in glove with anyone who benefits them and who have pretty much just replaced the Raj with their own brand of immorality; whether it is our chatterati and Page 3 wannabes who glorify almost anything that will bring the spotlights their way; whether it’s our pandering to the Western image of what we should be; whether its believing that our glaciers will melt in a decade; whether it’s trying to prove to the world that we are a fair nation, when we should have hange that last living terrorist by now. The list as you know could go on. Congratulations We the People, on being the first winner of the Third Idiot Award of this great nation. Jai Ho d